When I found myself alone, pregnant and without a job, it was a pretty scary time. I was working for an outdoor program with high risk youth. I camped outdoors for three weeks at a time, then subbed in between trips and visited friends I had made in college. I am a very goal-oriented person though, and so I sat down and wrote a list to accomplish in five years. I listed the things I wanted for myself. I let myself write down crazy ideas, ideas I knew were not realistic but I wrote them down anyway. With hardly even a place to live (I rented a room) I listed owning a home and a stable job (as a single mom with a brand new baby - uh huh, yeah right! Know that many single mom teachers? I couldn't name even one!) That was only two things. (not that they weren't major - but who writes lists that only have two items on it! Pathetic!) So I added more - getting my masters. Providing for my baby. Ok, what else? I've always wanted to foster parent, so I wrote that down too. (Like I said, it was a crazy list.) I found a full time job teaching, and I realized I couldn't make it without the income from a master's degree. So, in a year I completed my masters - thesis, research and all (it was a very tough year.) Then I bought my home. My child was blessed beyond my wildest dreams with clothes and more clothes from friends and family and the cutest hand-me-downs imaginable! It took a few false starts, but we found the best day care provider - she is second to none and I believe one of the reason my daughter is such a great person - her daycare provider was a wonderful, wonderful mom who taught me so much! I had accomplished everything on my list, except for fostering. I wasn't married though, so how could I do that? I decided that would just have to wait until I was married.... Or not. The more I thought about it -- why? Why do I need to be married to foster? I looked into it and found out that I could foster parent as a single mom. I had saved all the massive amounts of beautiful clothes from my daughter, I had my own home and a good job, so it really was do-able. So I did - for about 5 years, to three sweet babies during that time plus my daughter. My list was completed! After what seemed like forever, (I really didn't believe this would happen) I finally met my husband. We have his two children and my daughter full time. It's a busy household and I couldn't be happier. I wanted a baby and it's taken 2 years, but I have my precious little boy. His smile makes my heart melt everytime I see it. This truly is All I've ever wanted!!! Ok, well, now about that list... I need a new list. We're very happy - except. That darn "except..." We're constantly struggling to pay our bills. These darn bills now define our lives. What we buy, how we spend our time, what we do and our plans for the future. I can't believe how being behind on bills, can effect me and even our marriage. I've been feeling the need to write a list for a while. About six months ago, we made a comittment to a new goal. We want to be completely debt free. Of ALL debt - even mortgate. I decided this before my husband. I talked about it and he agreed. It was a nice idea. He really wasn't buying into it - how could WE be debt free. We have some bad credit, we have jobs that are unpredictable, we can barely make ends meet most months. I told him about the list though. I explained that I know this is possible, because I wrote a crazy list before and I did it. All of it. I know we can do this. I've been working on budgeting now since July of 2008. There have been so many set-backs, that it really has seemed impossible. Husband lost his job. We had to go to court over custody. Medical bills. We got married - big expense. Husband got his job back while we were trying to plan the wedding! Then lost it again - not needed during the slow season. He took on other jobs, at minimum wage, unstable hours... So, so frustrating and scary. We both have brought debt into our lives and into our marriage. At one point, we simply couldn't pay all our bills every month. I had to pick and choose whom to pay. (I thought I was being smart and as responsible as I could be - I paid what I could - a little bit to everyone, to show each creditor that I was making payments, even if it wasn't the full amount. That backfired - I just got late charges and slapped with bad credit for not making payments at all, since if we didn't pay the required minimum, it wasn't counting as making a payment.) I can't express the stomach churning stress, the tense-ness I felt in my arms not being able to take care of what we needed to be taken care of. We have made some progress paying off a lot of small debts and are getting our budget under control. Husband is working full time (SO THANKFUL for this blessing!!!) But that could change again, and now my job is unstable. It is no longer a desperate wish, but an absolute necessity for the safety of our family to be financially stable. Specifically, we need to minimize our debt so that if our jobs change again (very possible) we'll be able to handle it financially. We're making progress, but can we do better?